Happy February, My Friend!
Question: Have you ever been to Mars? Would you believe that I have been there no less than four times? And not once did I travel through space to get there. You don’t believe me? OK, pull up a chair and grab some coffee. I’ve got some ‘splaining to do.
My first trip occurred in 1982. Coincidentally, that’s the year I got married. I was thrilled to marry Kevin and move to Minneapolis, aka Nirvana. We had a cute albeit sparsely furnished apartment and had even more sparse income. Who needed money? We had our love to keep us warm.
But I don’t like unfamiliar things. And I started a music therapy internship at a psychiatric hospital and that was—a lot. Kevin had lived in Minneapolis for a while before we were married, so he had some friends there. He just sort of went on with his life, but to me, it was completely new. It felt a little like I’d moved to Mars. OK—now you’re on to me. I never actually went to Mars. But sometimes life takes a turn that feels so different, it’s like you left Earth completely and are on another planet.
As hard as it was in the beginning, man, did I grow to love Martian—I MEAN—married life! Over time, it became familiar and friendly, and before I knew it, that “otherworldly” feeling of being somewhere brand new dissipated. My feet were back on Earth’s scrumptious soil. Just when I thought I’d had life all figured out, it happened again. My husband was offered a job in Atlanta, Georgia, also referred to as Mars.
Here I go again. Intergalactic move number two.
If I thought Minneapolis was Mars, Atlanta was more like Pluto. I’d barely traveled out of the Midwest, and there I was, living in the South. The plants were different. The trees were different. There was kudzu everywhere. It was pretty, but still, what in the world?? Everyone thought I talked funny. The little girl across the street once said to her mother while we were talking one day, “Mama—is she speakin’ Spanish?” I could write for days about how “on Mars” I felt when we moved there. We only lived there a year and a half, and I bet I pined for “home” every day we were there. Until, once again, Kevin said, he was offered another position in the company, and we could move back to planet Earth! Minneapolis! Yay! Fire up the engines! Let’s go!
Adjusting to life back there was not difficult. It was familiar. It was home. We had babies and the perfect house. Friends. And then, just when I thought it was safe to go out in the streets . . . Kevin got that “guess who got a promotion” look in his eye again. No. Don’t even say it. You can’t make me move away again, Mr.
And there we went. Off to Mars. This time, Mars came in the form of Delaware. Who moves to Delaware? Well, we did. And there again were all the weird and different things that make up life on Mars. At a company picnic early in our move, I smelled something in the air that made me want to throw up. Mind you, I was pregnant, so everything made me want to throw up, but this odor was sickening beyond measure. I asked one of the other women in the group what that horrible smell was. Turns out we were being served a Delaware delicacy! Steamed crabs! I said the smell was making me sick, to which she replied, “Well, then you better get out of Delaware!” implying I’d be smelling that a lot. “Get out of Delaware (Mars.)” Would that I could.
But guess what! Delaware lost its Mars-like qualities in time, just like that first year of marriage. In fact, I’d dare to say it even became “comfortable.” It became home! Ahhhhh, familiarity.
You know what I’m going to say, don’t you? Here comes another great job offer for Kevin, which roughly translates to: There’s another trip to Mars on the horizon. This time in the form of Florida. Dear God, again??
Florida is about as Mars-y as it gets. For heaven’s sake, people here plant flowers in the winter! Everything is upside down here. Be outside all winter long and stay indoors all summer. What is this place? I don’t know if I can survive another stay on Mars. I really don’t.
And that was almost 28 years ago. I’ve survived life on Mars that long. As you can guess, this place has become home. Our kids spent the majority of their childhoods here—went to school here, graduated, and returned to this house during their summers off. It’s home base. What I once thought was weird and gross and way too hot has become comfortable and secure and—home.
I try to remember when changes come around, that what is new and unfamiliar at first will become, with time, well-known. Familiar. Comfortable. The Mars-ness will subside, and Earth will reappear.
Have you been to Mars? Moving to a new place is not the only way to get there. New circumstances in your life can send you there. Losing someone dear to you, I’m sure, can do the same. Life can be full of trips to “other space.” One thing I try to do is to remember that God lives in all of these places. God made all of these places. There’s nowhere we can go that He’s not. Even if that weird place is sorrow. Or heartbreak. Or fear. Or a scary diagnosis. God lives there, too. And He wants to be with you as you adjust to Life on Mars.
Written with love – – – Patti XOXO
“New beginnings are often disguised
as painful endings.”
Lao Tzu