Happy November Tuesday, My Friend!
Lordy Mama, I had a busy October! But right now, I’m happily sitting in my own house at my own desk looking out my own window. Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home!
Recently, something stirred my memory about a particular lunch I had with my mom while she was visiting me here in Florida. I’ve been chuckling ever since, so I thought I’d share that giggle with you.
First of all, let me tell you that I think my mom was a “fancy lady” stuck in an ordinary woman’s life. Oh, how she loved the finer things. She didn’t grow up in a fancy life, but she did win a beauty contest when she was 18 years old. Fancy – check. However, she represented the Montgomery Ward store – not fancy.
While other kids’ parents played golf or cards, my parents’ favorite activity was going out to eat. It was nothing for them to drive over an hour to a “supper club” somewhere in Wisconsin, eat dinner, and drive all the way home again. A lot of times, I was in tow, sitting in the backseat, rolling my eyes that my teenage self was subject to such degradation. Imagine! The torture of my parents wanting to feed me nice food in a lovely restaurant! So embarrassing!
My mom, even though it might be below zero outside, would look put together. Maybe not a dress in that weather, but probably beige “slacks” and a blouse with a coordinating sweater. Earrings for sure, and lipstick. (She’d put baby powder on her lips under her lipstick. I’m not sure why, or if it worked, but she always did it.) My dad was not fancy, but he adored my mom and also liked a good meal, so he was on board for the dinner out.
When my mom was in her 80s, still living in her small apartment, she was able to travel and visit us in Florida for about a month. It was quite a process to get her here and back. I’d fly up to northern Wisconsin and stay with her for a few days, then fly back down to Florida with her. Wheelchairs and walkers and suitcases, oh my! And there are no direct flights between here and there! After her stay with us, typically, my sister would fly down here for a few days and then escort my mom back north. They’d fly into Minneapolis, at which point my sister would get my mom on a flight back to Duluth, where our brother would meet her, and my sister would continue home to North Dakota. It was a full-family escapade!
When mom was here, she loved a fancy lunch. Honestly, she loved a lunch out, snazzy or not. One time we dined at The Breakers on Palm Beach. Can you get fancier than that? (If the answer is yes, let me know . . . I want to go!)
Okay, I’m finally getting to the funny part… One day, we decided to go to CityPlace in West Palm Beach. For those who are unfamiliar, CityPlace is a charming shopping district located near downtown West Palm. There are (or were) many fun stores and restaurants. There used to be much more: a Macy’s, a beautiful movie theater, a comedy club. Our funny lunch occurred during those “heyday” years of CityPlace.
We decided to have lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. Maybe not the height of fanciness, but still, a nice place.
Something happened to make us look bedraggled. Was it raining? My memory is a little fuzzy, but I do remember us looking disheveled for some reason. (And my mom never looked disheveled!) I can picture my mom wearing a hat to cover her ears (she never wanted the wind to blow in them). I can still picture the exact place we sat in the restaurant. We were laughing at each other because of our appearance. It must have been that we got caught unawares in the rain and looked haggard.
We were also cold, and both wanted hot soup, so that’s what we ordered. And we both just drank water. When it came time to pay the bill, for some reason (and this makes no sense to me now), we barely had money between the two of us to pay. Why didn’t we use a credit card? Surely, we each had at least one! This reason escapes me.
There we were, literally dumping our purses out on the table, counting out change to pay our bill. We left the tip for the waiter completely in coins. We found the situation so ridiculous, we started to giggle. And then I said I wondered what the staff thought of us—two bedraggled women, soaking wet, who all they ordered was soup and water, and now had to pay with change from the bottom of their purses. We laughed some more. And now we added to the story that maybe they thought we were drunk as well.
We were definitely not fancy that day.
But boy, did we laugh. I’m so glad my mom did indeed laugh at herself that day, because making a spectacle of herself would not be one of her favorite things to do. She always presented herself to the world as a proper and well-behaved individual. She did not readily accept nonsense. I’m so glad she did that day. It’s one of my favorite memories of her.
Where’s the encouragement in all of this? Perhaps it’s a reminder not to take yourself too seriously. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be proper or fancy, but if you’re ever in a situation where you find yourself presenting an entirely different persona than you usually do, try not to worry too much about what other people might be thinking. Just pay the bill with change, have a good laugh, and move on.
You can be serious tomorrow.
Written with love – – – – Patti XOXO
Another fancy occasion for us: a tea party at the assisted living facility where she lived for a while. We were much more proper that day.