Good morning, Friend!
First, I failed to wrap things up with my last email to you! I had several inquiries, wondering how Maria had faired throughout her freshman year with “Hazel!” I knew the end of the story but didn’t bother to tell you! So, the two opposites coexisted “fine.” They never became close, and when Maria went back to school after her spring break, Hazel and her belongings were gone! In her place was a brand new roommate . . . who didn’t speak English. And so Maria coexisted the rest of that year next to her second roommate. Thank God Maria met a girl in her dorm with whom she became best friends—and they are still good friends today.
The end.
I was recalling recently a Christmas gift I received as a young girl. I don’t know if I asked for this, but it became one of my all-time favorite gifts. A Barbie doll? No, though I did like those. A pair of bright orange skis? Well, I did like those a lot, too, but I’m talking about something else. What was this marvelous thing, you ask?
A tape recorder.
My first tape recorder was a reel-to-reel kind with a microphone attached by a spiral cord. I think it said “Holiday” on it, or it might have been “JCPenney.” Santa got a lot of stuff from JCPenney when I was a kid. That first tape recorder should have come with a copy of the book “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” by Dr. Seuss. That tape recorder took me to some places! Or rather, I took it!
My first recollection of that tape recorder is with my cousin, Kathy. We were “tweenagers,” I’d say, and we took my tape recorder on a camping trip. My mom and dad had a pop-up, pull-behind-the-car camper, and we’d often go to a campground in northern Wisconsin. My older brother and sister would probably be off to college during these years, so my parents let me bring my cousin along for fun. They had no idea what kind of fun we were about to get into.
First of all, let me tell you about Kathy. She’s a couple of years older than me and the coolest person I’ve ever known. I was awkward and bookish, but she was cute and wore the coolest clothes. I was always a bit in awe of her, and I still am. She’s still as cool as ever.
We got it in our heads to create a soap opera of sorts. It was titled “Heartaches and Pains.” (Doesn’t that describe a soap opera perfectly?) In our little drama, we played two children named Hobart and Hortense (Lord, how did we come up with those names?) who constantly overheard their parents fighting. We’d record one “scene” with the kids begging their parents to stop bickering, and then we’d switch characters (I was the mom, and Kathy was the dad.) We’d holler at the kids and yell at each other. Oh my gosh, it makes me LOL now that I think about it. (I remember my mom telling my aunt that she hoped people walking by our campsite didn’t think it was she and my dad fighting!) The funny thing is, when we were Hortense and Hobart, we spoke in these thick Southern drawls, and then when we were the mom and dad, we were our regular Midwestern selves. I don’t know how that came about.
Oh, we had commercials and everything. It turns out this was a made-for-radio production, so of course, there was music. We were Donny and Marie Osmond singing “I’m Leaving It All Up To You” and Tony Orlando and Dawn singing “Tie a Yellow Ribbon ‘Round the Old Oak Tree.”
I still have that tape. It’s just one reel, and I have no way to play it. I have googled the daylights out of that old tape recorder and can’t find it anywhere.
I kind of think this recording of stories and songs was the TikTok of my generation.
A few years later, when cassette tapes became the new way of the world, I got a new tape recorder. Can you picture it? A Panasonic, with its rectangular shape and the buttons all lined up on the bottom. It had a built-in microphone! All my dreams were coming true! It had that little silver handle that allows you to carry it with ease or simply slide it up out of the way when you’re ready for your next performance.
Enter my friend, Heidi. Heidi was a high school friend of mine. She was hi-lar-i-ous! (I figured if I split up the syllables like that, you’d understand my emphasis on her hilarity.) She was my next partner in soap opera recording crime. Yes, I was stuck on creating soap operas. We created a couple, but the one I remember the most was a spoof on “All My Children.” Ours was called “All My Husbands.” We played adult sisters named Hyacinth and Peony. The gist of the story was that we both had married so many husbands but were trying to keep them all from finding out about the others, so we were constantly hiding one husband in this closet and that husband in the basement, etc. It was difficult to try not to laugh in the middle of a scene when Heidi suddenly turned into a character named “Weinerschnitzel,” one of the long-lost husbands from Germany.
Now, you’d think when I was a mature young lady going off to college, I’d put all that nonsense aside, right?
Wrong.
Along came my roommate Janet, and things got even crazier. Good night— she could make me laugh! Still does! When the other girls on our floor were studying, we were recording farm animal noises, among a variety of other creations. One day, I had the idea to put that tape recorder in my backpack and walk through the crowded student union with my farm animals in full swing. Janet planted herself in a chair at a particular time, and I walked down the crowded hallway, cows a moo-ing and chickens a cluck-ing. She wanted to see people’s reactions. I walked calmly down the corridor, and Janet noted heads turning, trying to determine the source of the ruckus. (Just FYI, we did actually both graduate.)
Now, with the at-your-fingertips availability of mobile phones, we can record anything so easily. When I get together with my college roommates a couple of times a year, chances are someone is going to whip out their phone, and we’ll conjure up our old farm sounds, for old-time’s sake.
Why am I telling you all of this? Why am I embarrassing myself and my friends and family? I just want to say that I am so grateful for the hilarious people God has put in my life. Like Buddy, the elf in “Elf,” smiling is my favorite! And laughing? Well, that is just the best. Kathy, Heidi, Janet, college roomies, and countless others . . . how grateful I am for you all sharing your sense of humor with me. Laughter is some pretty darn good medicine!
I hope you have many occasions to laugh this week, my friend!
Written with love – – – Patti XOXO
“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” —Victor Borge
“You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
that I might sing praises to You and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give You thanks forever!”
Psalm 30:11-12