Greetings, My Friend!
Kevin and I have been on a mission lately to rid our home of excess. I tend to be sentimental and have difficulty letting go of stuff, but we’ve been doing just that. In my journeys through drawers and closets, I discovered something that has captured my attention the last few days.
My diary from 1975.
Bless my sweet bellbottoms! It has been a thought-provoking read. I’ve discovered many things about me have changed from when I was 14 years old (thankfully), but many things are still the same.
For instance, I have always loved stories. And I write a lot about my current read back then or report on the latest movie or TV show I saw and how amazing it was. I don’t know if all 14-year-olds are quite this dramatic, but some TV shows were “life-changing.” I mean, how life-altering can an episode of “Barnaby Jones” be? Apparently, pretty darn. Don’t even get me started on “Medical Center.”
And once I read a book called “The Mayeroni Myth” and declared it to “change the pattern of my life.” (insert hilarious laughter emoji) I googled it, and the cover did look familiar, but I don’t remember the story. Nor do I remember the transformative power it had over me. (I did back then, and still do, tend to feel my feelings pretty intensely.) In case you want your life pattern to be changed by this book, click here.
I regularly noted in my diary who was sick. I don’t remember being sick a lot, but according to my diary, I was! If I wasn’t, one of my friends was. My mom was sick regularly. My dad? He’s not mentioned in this capacity.
I reported on my grades with regularity. I didn’t do well in algebra, but I loved my teacher. I didn’t love my Shakespeare teacher, but I did well in that class. History and science? We won’t talk about that right now.
I babysat a lot and got paid very little, about 60 cents an hour.
My hair was of utmost importance. I recorded when I washed it and what shampoo I used. Wella Balsam took top honors, with Alberto VO5 and Breck getting honorable mentions. Sometimes I mixed several brands, attempting to achieve perfection and the formula for ultimate beauty.
Oh, and I loved a boy named Eddie. He was a year older than me and had self-inflicted tattoos. He was completely unaware of my existence on the planet. But I still loved him. He had a girlfriend named Theresa, and I was as mad as a hornet when he had his arm around her at a basketball game. I loved him still. Then he broke up with Theresa and started dating Gloria. That did not deter my undying devotion. After Gloria, he dated Carol. And yet, I continued my eternal endearment. Then came Pam. Did I give up? Nope. Just as Celine Dion sang those inspirational words from Titanic, I felt that “my heart will go on and on.”
Oh, for crying out loud, girl!! What were you thinking??
After reading the Eddie episodes and seeing a few other patterns in my young life, it made me wish I could go back to that girl and tell her a few things now that I’m a grown-up. Here’s what I might say:
- I recently read a quote that resonated with me, both 14-year-old me and 62-year-old me: “Don’t let anyone rent a space in your head unless they’re a good tenant.” (Unknown author) I don’t know if my 1975 self would have gotten this, but believe it or not, I still struggle with this. Oh, I’m way over Eddie, but I still can give some people way too much space in my brain. I can spend way too much energy wondering about this and that when, really, it just doesn’t matter! I read a great book a couple of years ago called “Get Out of Your Own Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts” by Jennie Allen. Here’s a link if you’re interested.
- Along with my first bit of wisdom for my young self, I’d advise myself to worry less about what others thought about me. But tell that to a 14-year-old? Yeah, right. Now, I need to keep telling my current self that. It may be 48 years later, but I’m still not great at this! What other people thought of us was a big deal in my family when I was growing up. It’s hard to unlearn some things. If I pause and ask myself this question, though, it can get my thinking back to where I want it to be: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10)
- I would tell that dear young girl to forget about Eddie. I would tell her she will eventually marry someone 1,000,000 times better. I would tell her it doesn’t matter if a boy doesn’t like her. It doesn’t mean you are ugly and no one will ever like you. (This sentiment appeared numerous times throughout 1975 and probably subsequent years.) Hang on, little girl, your worth is not wrapped up in what shampoo you use or if a boy likes you.
As I write this note to you, it is Kevin and my 41st wedding anniversary. I can tell you that I love him way more than I ever “loved” Eddie. Maybe God was at work way back then. Perhaps as I longed to be the next name after “Theresa, Gloria, Carol, Pam . . . ,” He was telling me, “Not this one, I have someone else for you. Just wait a few more years.”
I sure am glad I did.
What would you tell your young self? Sometimes it’s just what we need to hear today!
Gotta go. Have to go wash my hair. Btw, I’m using Pantene. (Some things still remain very important.)
Written with love – – Patti XOXO 
“Promise me you’ll always remember:
You’re braver than you believe,
and stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.”
(Christopher Robin via A. A. Milne)